Just thought I'd throw this out there for discussion and see if other women here have had similar experiences.  

 

There are a lot of submissive women on this site, and I can only speak for myslef, but please do not assume that just because a woman is submissive, and on this site, we are all looking to be spanked or reprimanded by every Top here.  

 

Many of us are in relationships with one very special person who we have grown to know and trust.  We rely on that special person to guide us, keep us accountable, and yes, punish us when it's needed.  Please be respectful enough to ask a woman's situation before making assumptions.

 

I think a lot of us are here just to make like minded friends.  I know that's why I'm here.  What brought you here?  Share your thoughts.   

Did not really come on here to hitch up with anyone , , ( although would be overjoyed if it did happen ) thought I would like to talk to like minded people (especially as I was branded a pervert by one ex when I brought up the subject .) who not only understood my “kink “ but enjoyed it too and would not judge me just because I liked to make a ladies bottom sting !
What a lot of people not in the “community “ do not understand is , we are not attempting to hurt harm or bully our partner , in fact they are a partner in every way and they get enjoyment from the act as well , and just because someone like to give ( or receive ) a thrashing DOES NOT MAKE THEM A LESSER PERSON in any way , and we deserve as much respect , consideration and politeness as anyone else , we already have laws banning discrimination , on race , sexuality , sex , age or religion , please just give people you meet on here the same consideration , { rant over }

Here to share my interest and make friends. Any real life meets are a welcome bonus

I came here to meet people. Make friends, maybe more...but no expectations.

I think people need to remember the Internet is just like real life. I have a lot of personal experience to go off of...so I don't live in a fantasy world.

You can just walk up to a girl you don't know, degrade her, and have her want to lay across your lap for a thrashing.
This post was edited by Cerberus at August 3, 2013 5:38 PM PDT

I'm here to make friends and enjoy speaking with people that like the same kinds of things. It's nice to have somewhere to go to be able to talk about what we do with people that understand. I also enjoy getting ideas from others. Already in a happy, stable relationship and not looking to replace that in any way, shape or form.

I don't know how I ended up here. This is not my beautiful house.

Very true Kixx .

Some think because we like too be spanked punished they can turn up on your doorstep and deal with us or we will go running to them . Had a serious spanking relationship with another older girl for the past 5 years .Whilst I would consider someone else spanking me it would be nice to get to know them first .Others should not pre judge when I mention another girl people assume we are raving lesbians some guys never chat again and girls think I am coming onto them .Untrue, admit bi but at the end of the day just want friends and chat with like minded people into discipline.

Do not like the term submissive some appear to think that means weak ,in reality I am a very strong willed girl .

Glad you opened this debate.

I think everyone is looking for something slightly different, some want to chat, some fantasy cyber play, some to meet up, some to meet up and spank, you just have to talk to people to find out what they want.

So many good points made by the previous posters. No one should make assumptions about anything. I am new here, but like to write spanking stories and read stories, experiences, etc. from others. I'd also like to make a few friends.

whats important to remember is that this is NOT A DATING site

Why is it important to remember that this isn't a dating website? Surely if 2 people meet on here they may be allowed to go for a date if they so wish?

yes not saying that they cant or even shouldn`t , all I am saying is that this is not primarily a dating site , and many of the ladies ( and men )are in stable relationships and are not looking for someone new , so by all means put yourself out there if you want but please dont be surprised or upset when the object of your appreciation sais no thank you .

I am here because of people like Kixx, Tanya and the other ladies, some of whom I have had the pleasure of befriending, who remind me that this is a scene populated by intelligent, witty, articulate and socially very attractive people whose company I enjoy. I am also here because it is good to have a forum in which to discuss the things that we do discreetly and in a free and open manner, without the risk of censure.

I find it very strange that anyone should delude themselves into thinking that submissives are weak and ' generally available', a rather repugnant form of 'commodity thinking' that demeans submissives. I suspect it is because such people do not know many submissives, most of whom, in my experience, exude personal strength from every pore.

When a lady finds somebody who appeals to her, she has the natural gift to communicate that fact with subtlety.. and unless and until that fact is communicated, a Top is wise to confine himself to polite social interest.

I like to be inspired by people. There are quite a few here who do just that. My thanks and appreciation to them for so doing.

Markham , has just said eloquently what I wish I could of said myself ,

So many wonderful comments... but Markham... you take the cake. Thank you for your kind (and insightful) words. <3

Pex said:
Why is it important to remember that this isn't a dating website? Surely if 2 people meet on here they may be allowed to go for a date if they so wish?

I think it's fantastic if people should happen to meet here Pex, but some men come to this site expecting every woman here to be at his beck and call.  That is not what this site is about.

So they genuinely believe the woman has a duty to come running? Shouldnt imagine there are many like that and presumably it only takes one sentence to set someone straight. Sure it's not just play or testing the water anyway? I think I should just stay clear of the more negative forums in future!

There are so many more than you realize Pex. Ask just about any woman on this site... new members come in and you barely get a "hello my name is... " out of them before they start barking out orders and threatening discipline. Sure, spanking can be fun too, but for the most part I don't take it lightly. I'm not one to pretend I have a Dad, or any of that silliness. I certainly am not interested in internet spankings from someone I've never even met. Sometimes just saying "no thank you" is enough, but sometimes it goes on and on. Don't get me wrong, I have made a LOT of good friends here, but those others sure make it hard to keep coming back.

Of course this discussion also applies in reverse; women who want Internet spankings from men who aren't willing to give them. Surprising as it may seem, we do exist!

Everyone wants different things, I have met people on here that do want cyber discipline without meeting or even real introduction, I think you have to remember it is exciting for some people, others don't want anything apart from the real thing, but are happy to meet after chatting on here.

I couldn't agree more with "to each his/her own", but when men start assuming every woman on this site is here for their pleasure... that I have a problem with.

well Kixx i don't know what you are referring to exactly but we all seek pleasure (men and woman), it is only natural. I kind of assume that because I derive pleasure from being dominant and giving spankings, when I find submissive I assume they are deriving pleasure from being submissive therefore it becomes a mutually beneficial relationship.

I think Kixx is refering to the men who think just because they use language they assume a dom would use , then every woman they talk to will drop everything ( including their knickers ) for them .
Its a matter of thinking how would you like others to treat your sister ,daughter , mother and acting in the same way .
By the way Kixx is not the only lady to mention this problem nor is this site the only one that sees this problem , a friend of mine is on a bondage site similar to this one and he sees the same issue

just my 2 cents worth, for me it is to chat and interact with others with similar interest and experiences.

becki said:
just my 2 cents worth, for me it is to chat and interact with others with similar interest and experiences.

I couldn't agree more becki.   Making friends with similar interests is so important.